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Forever is up to you.”

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Title: Do You Mind?
written on Sunday, March 27, 2016 @ 11:02 PM ?{ 0 comments }



The library is surrounded by dead silence.

Everyone sinks their butts into chairs and works on their own stuffs. Some are writing reports, some are searching through Google for information to copy and paste it in their assignments to submit, and a few rest just simply sleep soundly.

Meanwhile I rest my chin on my palm as I place my elbow on the desk and slip through each page of the thick reference book. I’m not sure if I’m reading the right book.  I’m not even sure if I’m doing the right thing right now. The lecturer gave me and my classmates a task to work on and one of the condition is that we have to search for it through books in the library. Gadgets are forbidden. Highly forbidden, he said.
He wouldn't know if the students ever follow his order or not, but I somehow obey and act exactly to the way he wants it. What a nerd. I'm embarrassed with myself that I am this nerd. God. If my sister knew this, she's surely gonna make fun of me for the rest of her life unless she gets hit by a car and lose her memory.

Much thanks to you, Mr. Professor. I almost feel like claiming this library as my second house because this library is damn cold compared to my own house anyway but unfortunately I’m easily cold and it causes me suffering and dying. I was born with that matter. Thus there’s no advantage for me staying long here in this library.

I drag the corner of the book toward the another one, slowly closing it as I figure out that this book doesn’t contain information I’m currently looking for. I rise then put the book back into the bookshelf. I jerk my head up to see the other books at the higher section. My eyes scanning every book with different thickness and title until it finds the one that caught my attention.

That can be the one. The book title is exactly the one I’m searching for. The probability is high. But I’m physically short.

Despite all the good things I’ve been getting due to my height, here’s come the bad one.

I silently sigh and scratch my head in frustration. Life just never gets better, does it?

I move closer to the bookshelf. I start tip-toeing as high as I can while grasping the bookshelf to keep myself balance. I raise my hand and try to reach for the book.

I clench my teeth so I won’t be making a weird noise while trying my best achieving my glory. My current position already looks strange and stupid. If the lecturer can’t appreciate my struggles and efforts, I could be throwing this bookshelf right on his face. You have no idea how strong and brave you can be when you’re in rage.

The tip of my index finger almost reach it but obviously not even close to pull it away.
I’m using all the forces that still remain inside me and push myself up eventhough my legs already get weaken.

Yet the result isn’t satisfying at all. I eventually abandon the effort and place my heels back on the floor. But suddenly, a hand that appears out of nowhere stretches out and pulls the book out from the bookshelf.

I’m aghast for a moment. He hands me over the book I was trying to reach. My sight slowly flows through his hand towards his face and I see Ian smiling at me. That’s the sweetest smile I’ve seen in awhile.

“I saw someone struggling to take this book. So I decided to lend a hand.”

My head is just at the same level of his shoulders. I’m eyeing his chest when I look straight. I need to lift my head up a little to see him right into his eyes and he lowers his head a little as well for his eyes to meet mine.

“Thank you and goodbye for now. I can’t stand looking at you for so long since you’ve seen me being hopeless.”

“No, no. You were cute. Like a 5 years old kid reaching for her toy.” He grins.

“Yeah right. You’re good at talking nonsense since you were younger either. Thank you so much for you little help though. You have no idea how long I’ve been staying in this library just to finish my goddamn task.”

I wear my backpack and prepare to leave while carrying the book I just got in my arm. I’m about to lift my foot and make my way when Ian prevents me to.

“Here, take this with you.” He places a Cadbury on the book I’m carrying.

I’m overwhelmed with excitement and joy when I see my favorite chocolate right in front of me. But I manage to control my expression and remain cool so he won’t notice a thing.
“What is this for?”

“For your struggles just now. And good luck for your task. See you very soon.” He bids his goodbye followed by his last smile. Then he walks away and dissolves into the group of people leaving the library and gone from my sight.

I was about to say ‘no thanks’ although I deadly wanted it. But he didn’t give me space and opportunity to respond. I carve a smile on my lips then walk ahead with the Cadbury I hug closely to my chest.

Perhaps, it's okay to be nerdy sometimes. I reckon not everyone will laugh at what I do, though my sister probably would. But he didn't.
Well, he did smile. But it's a warm smile, it was so comforting it put my heart at ease. If there was a cure to my pain without needing me to swallow a pill or poke myself with a needle,

          it would be his smile.


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